Top 10 Reasons to Eat Sushi at the Economic Riots of 2009

Police in Britain are warning of a “Summer of Rage” as economic riots brew and ignite across the globe.  Authorities everywhere are arming to the teeth as the politicians rush to distribute what’s left of their nation’s wealth to the banksters who own their souls.  In the US, ARMs and 401ks are being traded in for pitchforks and torches.

 

This has many people around the world scratching their heads and wondering, ”What is the best food to bring to the Economic Riots of 2009?”  The answer may surprise you.

There is no better food for rioters than a messenger bag full of sushi.

The Top 10 Reasons to Eat Sushi at the Economic Riots of 2009.


10.  Homemade sushi is cheap.  A little rice and a sliver of meat is all you need for a complete meal. If you’re broke, hungry, and pissed off, sushi is as smart as it is delicious.

9.  Sushi is portable.  A fully balanced meal fits easily in the side pocket of your favorite cargo pants.  With a small backpack full, you can eat for days.

8.  Sushi is easy to share. Perfect for sit-ins, marches, and other acts of civil disobedience where teamwork is essential. Individually wrapped, but all from the same source, sushi makes a powerful statement as it nourishes.

7.  Sushi has protein.  Ordinary snack foods lack protein, but sushi has all you’ll need to keep your muscles fed so you can remain strong and rage throughout the summer.

6.  Sushi has carbohydrates.  The simple carbs in sushi rice provide a great energy boost for that mid-riot lull.

5.  Sushi is low calorie.  Try running for your life after a super sized value meal.  Sushi is nutrient dense while remaining low calorie – perfect for staying light on your feet without compromising strength.  Historically, sushi has even fueled an entire army in repeated battles with a 50,000 ton lizard.

4.  Sushi can be a nonviolent weapon.  Eat loads of sushi before going face to face with your oppressors.  Their pride will force them to absorb a cloud of vile sushi breath.

3.  Sushi may distract scent hounds.  If you’re alone, forget it.  But if you and the guy next to you both have an eighth of weed in your pockets, the sushi you’re carrying may mask the herb just enough to divert the dogs to him and allow you to make your getaway.

2.  Sushi is easy to throw.  Individually wrapped sushi is just the right size to maximize control and distance.  Unlike a bottle or a rock, sushi is not deadly, so you can commit misdemeanor rage when the issues feel less serious to you.

1.  Sushi is a great way to hook up at a riot.  A high percentage of rebellious girls love sushi, and most of them are extremely attractive.  If you’re sharing your meal and looking for love, sushi gives you the best chance with the feistiest chicks.